Making Sense Out Of Cancer

As I posted on FaceBook, the short 10 points made by John Piper in Don't Waste Your Cancer was a huge influence on me early in my diagnosis.   I liked the phrase to not waste it but was challenged how to not waste.  The 10 points he makes made sense to me but were hard to digest.  

The Great Commission

I did start reading even more scripture since I found more spare time while waiting for doctors, hospital beds, and just resting.   I couldn't help but be called back to the Great Commission from Matthew: 

Matthew 28:19

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

19 [a]Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,

If I have learned anything in my 46 year faith journey before my cancer diagnosis it is this is the at the heart of what God wants from us as a disciple of Jesus Christ.   I then realized that cancer, as bad as it is (and we hate it), can be a useful tool to help others see Christ and get closer to Christ.

I think John Piper was laying out his game plan on how to do that in Don't Waste Your Cancer.   I am not a pastor nor that smart enough with theology to be as structured as John Piper.   I had to rely on what I think we all have naturally - which is compassion for others.  My trial gave me a unique perspective that made me extra compassionate for so many others going through the same battle.

God then started introducing me to people in a similar situation.   I say "God" because most of the introductions cannot be easily explained.   I made the conscious decision to not "advertise" or seek out individuals seeking help.  I just waited until God presented people in front of me.   He did this in hotel lobby's, waiting rooms, elevators, FaceBook, via work, via church, and through old friends and new friends.  The more people I spoke to, the more I wanted to pray for them, and the more you all wanted to pray for them.  I had no magic words to convey or special prayers.   I just listen, share my experience, and pray.  I learned that being a living testimony and witness isn't as complicated as it sounds.  You don't need to be an expert in scripture and theology.  You just have to have faith and love in God, Jesus, and prayer.  The right words will come.

Nancy had a tough time coping with this and was convinced I was advertising and seeking people to help.   Naturally, her concern was getting me healed and discussing cancer with others was just too difficult, realizing she is just coming off her own two year cancer battle that was very difficult. She soon realized that the people I was meeting had nothing to do with me and accepted it was a God thing.

This confirmed that cancer can be a positive vehicle to help bring others closer to God, but unfortunately took somebody like me and my family to be a living testimony to do it.  The thought of being a "sacrifice" to help others get closer to God is something that is not easy to accept.   Many times I asked God if I can do this more effectively by being healed?   I know the real answer and that is no, which I accept now.

Scripture Full of Suffering & Sacrifice

Those of you who know me from church know that my favorite scripture passage is Hebrews 12:1-3.   You can't really make sense of it without reading Hebrews 11 as well.  You can read it here --> Hebrews 11 - 12

The scripture is full of people that God selected to help others but with that came suffering.  Reading scripture and realizing that this is part of a faith journey has brought me great comfort and strength.  I still don't like it, but accept it.  

The part I really don't like is that my family is also part of the suffering.   I don't mind bearing the burden but to see my family suffer along with me is where I still struggle.  Then again, scripture continues to make the statement such as:

Hebrews 11:

And all these, having [y]gained approval through their faith, did not receive [z]what was promised,40 because God had [aa]provided something better for us, so that apart from us they would not be made perfect.

If we really have believe in Jesus Christ and the scripture, then we have to have faith that this is true.  God has provided something better for us and that our suffering on earth is truly temporary.   I have that belief and faith.  I also know my entire family has that belief and faith.

Sarah's Break Through 

Through out this journey, I have always worried most about the impact on my children - Sarah and Ross.   I am so grateful that Sarah went off to New Orleans and never lost tough with her faith.  In fact, I belief her faith has gotten even stronger.

It was Sarah that reached the same realization that I did, and John Piper did, except she did it on her time and in her way.   That is the realization that as bad as cancer is, and it is bad, it is a positive way to save lives from the eyes of God by bringing others closer to God.  People with cancer and faith are in a unique perspective to help others see God in a way that others cannot explain.

Once I knew Sarah was at peace with this journey by realizing the positive side of the cancer battle - being able to bring others closer to God - then I really have a great deal of peace in the battle.   This is where I am today.

God Still Provides

What I have not lost sight of, and I think only Nancy and I are the only ones that can really understand this part, is that while I may be suffering on behalf of doing God's work, HE is still providing for me.

I am so fortunate in so many ways and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams in ways that most people will not understand.  As I approach the end of my journey, God is stepping up and providing even more blessings.  Just to 

a few examples of what I am talking about:

• My medical team at MD Anderson has been the best.   Their compassion combined with exceptional knowledge and willingness to try everything that is in my best interest to fight this cancer from a clinical perspective has been a huge blessing.  God continues to provide me with outstanding medical coverage.
  
• Work.  I work for an amazing company (CGI) who has been exceptional in allowing me flexibility and treating me with compassion.   My co-workers, management team, executive team I work for, HR, etc.. all the way across the board has been outstanding.  This has not only allowed me to keep my mind focused on something than cancer but has also provided me with the financial means I need and that Nancy will need.  God continues to provide me with outstanding financial support and a work environment with great benefits.
  
• Insurance.   I have very good insurance and the case worker that has been assigned to me has been outstanding.  There is normally so much stress related to insurance yet we have not experienced any of it.  God continues to provide.
  
• Support Network of Friends & Family.   The support and encouragement I have received from people all over the world, from friends old & new, from strangers, from new neighbors, from random people I meet in random places has been completely overwhelming.  God continues to provide.

While the suffering does continue, my work to perform God's work also continues, and God still provides..  I am so grateful for His Grace.  

I Am Not Alone

I have to finish this post by reminding myself that I am not alone.  Not only I am not alone in battle, but I am not alone in doing God's work.  There are also so many people out there who are in need of God's love, in need of Hope, and in need of Faith. 

If you are reading this and have on take away, please let be that you too are prepared to do God's work no matter where you are on your own faith journey.  All it requires is a little compassion for others and willingness to listen and be there for somebody.  It is amazing what a simple but important job that is as part of the Great Commission.