What Happened to that Bucket List???

What I didn't talk about too much in those first too long posts is my current cancer situation.   I have been fighting Stage 4 colon cancer since February 18, 2011.   After three years, it is pretty obvious that none of today's medicines will kill and rid me of cancer.  I am on two forms of chemo for the rest of my life, how ever long or short that is.  The goal of this chemo is to "contain" my current cancer and extend my life another 2-6 years.  

This past week, I have been asked a lot about how I am spending my time. The quick answer is still trying to keep a norma weekly schedule with work and family.  As usual, the people that ask had no idea somebody else just asked me that, or that I actually spoke about a little at church few weeks back.   That video link is here --> Josh Strasner Testimony About Time - Pt 2 Time   Its a great sermon to listen to.  I start talking about 17:00 minutes into it.   Select Part 2 - Time.  This is only audio.

The most common questions I get are:  Why are you still working?   Have you pulled out your bucket lists?   Is there anything I would change about how I have spent my time?

The work question is easy.  I really like my work and still able to be of value (I hope).  I like the people I work for and with.  I also still need to provide for my family as long as possible.  I also believe it is important for my family to see a working father, especially Ross.  He actually gets scared and worried when I am holed up in bed throwing up or in obvious pain.  That is not a healthy environment for a son to see his father in.   Seeing a father at work, that is actually healthy, as long as I am making time for baseball, lego's, and family game night.    

The topic of my bucket list is what really caught me off guard at first.  I am no different than most people in that throughout the years I have talked about dreams of places I would like to go, or things I would like to do or experience, or musical instruments I would like to learn, or something like that and add that to my bucket list.   Now that I am at a point in my life when I am faced with the fact that I am mortal and will not survive this life (in fact nobody survives life), that bucket list has never entered my mind.

Instead, my time is best spent on my God, my family, and my friends.  Like I mentioned in the testimony, if it does not have to do with getting closer to God, helping others getting closer to God, or getting closer to my family - then I really have no desire to do it.  Other than work, I have to work and enjoy that. 

I do find myself reflecting a lot, and that is what prompted me to start using this blog to document some of those reflections.   The reality is that I could come up with an endless list of bucket list items - but I have had an unbelievable life.  I have seen more places and experienced more things and met more people than I ever dreamed of doing.   I would much rather focus my current time with my family and creating a bucket list of things I have done vs things I have not.  

The last question is easy, I have no regrets.  I wish I would not have had to travel so much and been away from home so much.  Those experiences took me away from my family, they also shaped me to who I am.