Funerals. Please do not take this as a depressing posts, because it is not intended to be at all. I have been very blessed in my life by being put around some great people - in my personal life and my professional life. Unfortunately, I have also lost my share of close personal friends in every way you can think of - cancer, car wrecks, water skiing accidents, embolisms, boating accidents while fishing. Rather than dwell on the sadness and grief that goes with losing close friends, I would rather dwell on what I learned from several of these people. While I knew them all very well, I think I learned the most from their funerals. Stephen Covey, in his book Seven Habits...., mentions that "think with the end in mind" as a critical successful habit. He even uses the example of what will people say at your funeral about you as an example.
Mike Flores
Mike Flores was a very close working colleague of mine at EDS. We were on the same team of four and all four of us shared the same cubicle area. Mike was married to a special person named Olga and had four kids, including two of whom were twins. Mike died tragically in a fishing/boating accident along with his 10 year old son, father-in-law, and his wife's uncle. I thought I knew Mike really good. I worked with him and we lived in the same neighborhood. From a work perspective, I knew Mike as being very reliable, very accurate, and just an outstanding co-worker. He was one of those guys that always did things the right way, and the right way the first time. When he was done, he was always the first guy to ask you "how can I help?" before he left for the day. If Mike said something would get done by 1:25, it would be done no later than 1:24. That was the kind of worker Mike was.
Mike was also an outstanding husband and father. He talked about his family constantly and always had pictures/images of them around his work environment. He very much loved his wife and spoke of her often. He was one of those family guys that you could tell would do anything for his family.
I also new Mike as a good friend. If you needed a hand, he was always there. You could rely on him for anything at home just like you could at work. He was a very simple man as well. Never spent money extravagantly and lived a pretty lean life, but was always happy & positive. Never once did I hear Mike complain.
A guy like Mike I would expect his funeral to be well attended, but I was completely blown away by how many people showed up. It was not a result of "how popular" Mike was and not a measurement of popularity or vanity. It was a measurement of how many people Mike truly had an impact on in his daily life. I was blown away by how many people spoke, and without being prompted. Turns out I didn't know Mike nearly as well as I thought I did.
Turns out that Mike was a very active coach in all sports. He coached youth baseball, football, and basketball. There were literally hundreds of youth there that Mike had impacted by his coaching. Several youth spoke with tears in their eyes about how Coach Flores was more than a coach.
Mike was a very active Catholic and very active in various church activities, especially teaching bible school and being involved with the youth again. Many of the youth spoke of the impact he had on them as their Sunday school teacher and involvement with various church activities.
He was not only the primary breadwinner for his immediate family but also supported his extended family in Lubbock and many family members back in Mexico. I had no idea so many people in his family depended on Mike for financial assistance and just overall guidance.
I remember sitting there and reflecting on Mike, and then reflecting on my on life. What really dawned on me the most is how much time I really had on my hands that I was not using productively. I have no idea how Mike managed to get everything done in a week that he did - but he did it. He did it without complaining and did it with a smile on his face.
I truly wish that Mike had never had that accident and was with us today. I do know Olga has moved on and now has a new life that she is happy with. We had just sold our house in the Colony and moved to Frisco just before Mike had his accident. After the funeral, we were honored and delighted that Olga sold her house in The Colony and moved a few houses down from us in Frisco. This allowed us to keep an eye on her and the kids, but more importantly to constantly reflect on what a tremendous impact Mike had on others with the hope that I too could have just a fraction of an impact he had. I knew it would take sacrifice and a lot of life changes. I am still working on that, and I still think of Mike a lot.